Spamalot – my favorite spam, part 2

From the depths of my blog’s comments section, to you. Enjoy another helping of weird, funny, surreal spam:

  • “Thanks designed for sharing such a nice idea, paragraph is fastidious, thats why i have read it entirely” – If there’s one thing I appreciate, it’s impeccably erudite spam that’s as meticulously refined as it is au courant.
  • “What’s up it’s me, I am also visiting this web page regularly, this site is actually pleasant and the users are genuinely sharing fastidious thoughts.” –There’s that word again. Looks like someone learned a new word!
  • “What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable familiarity concerning unpredicted emotions.” -Well, you know what they say…for every fastidious spam, there’s an equal and opposite indiscriminate spam.
  • “I all the time used to read post in news papers but now as I am a user of internet thus from now I am using net for articles or reviews, thanks to web.” – Me too! I used to read all my Tweets on clay tablets, but not anymore, thanks to web!
  • “Yes! Finally someone writes about doggy.” -I know, right? Fucking Internet is taken over by cat people, it’s about time someone wrote about doggy.
  • “The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!” – 1) Yes, this is completely off topic, and 2) Your cousin is an ass hat.
  • “Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!” -1) Yes, this is still completely off topic. 2) You are also an ass hat. 3) Reminds me to avoid your entire family of ass hats.
  • “This blog was… how do I say it? Relevant!!” -This spam was…how do I say it? A thing that exists.


Spamalot – my favorite spam, part 1

(General note: sorry for the super long hiatus, life stuff got in the way)

So lately, for some odd reason, there’s been a major increase in the amount of spam comments being posted to my blog by bots. Not sure why, and more so, not sure why they’d even bother with a small personal blog like mine. But these days, I’m getting something in the order of a 1000 spam posts in my comments section per week. Thankfully, I have the Akismet plugin for WordPress, which does a fantastic job of filtering out this garbage.

But I thought it would be fun to share some of the more absurd, funny, or otherwise surreal spams I get on my blog. Comments in italics are mine. Enjoy!

  • Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. (Thanks, man. This info would be really helpful…if it was 2006.)
  • Maybe i got a different wig because i look unboweaveable!!! Im trying to work with this hair. (unboweaveable!!! OMG, I see what you did there!!!)
  • Dear Mr/MadamI am looking for a excelent Suffolk ram and some Lams. Please, send me information about your Stock and the average pricelist. (OK: ram is 300 bitcoins, Lams be 500)
  • Watering on the terrace works well. Taking oil bath is very good. Why not eat mangoes, cane juice and jack fruit. (Why not indeed, my oily terrace dwelling spammer, why not indeed.)
  • Appreciation for this information is over 9000-thank you! (Help me get to 10,000 appreciation, please)
  • See yourself in pastless time.(Pastless time? Pastless…time…WHOAH! Paging Mr. Grant Morrison. Mind. Blown.)
  • You can then click on the Internet .. Your profession is considered to be sure you shop around and you spendexpense of fully comprehensive cover provides you with the solicitors recommendations. I use the “B” word – they’re more likely to receive car insurance company is liable to compensate. (Oh, I used the “B” word too when I saw your incomprehensible spam. Then I clicked on the Internet and all was well.)